woohooo

Out of 100, not as well as I expected but a lot better than last semester..I'm just not a test taker. =/

Clinical- 65 on the midterm -_- but should be a C for now (quiz)..estimated 71% overall.
Personality- 74 on midterm...C+ for now..add the homework.
Child psychology- 92 on midterm!!! Fuck yeh, mother fucker.
Cognitive-68 ahhhh on midterm but overall, including essays is 84%.
PsychBio-77 on midterm..but including quizzes should be a B overall.

It's not something to show off, but I'm pretty proud of myself. I would be happier if it was higher but I still got a long way to go and hella other projects and exam coming, I should try harder but I know I'll be too overwhelmed and give up again..=/ I just wish I pass it all with a B and higher.

RAWR

Fuck life in the butthole cause it sucks hairy balls.

Sigh

Way to kill my mood. I just received my results for my first midterm. I checked it, I knew I should of spent more time through it, there were so many questions that I could of answered correctly. I can't stop beating myself over that, but luckily, the professor is a nice one, and hopefully I can make up my grade. I still can't believe I got a C, like wtf, it was so easy. At least, it's not my hard class, it's time to get back into shape. This midterm just slapped and gave me a wake up call, I should study and work even harder for my other midterms! While taking my other midterms, I will remember to read the questions thoroughly and hopefully won't second guess myself. I shouldn't cram before the test too, that kind of fucked me up, since I got confused. I hate when that happens. I wouldn't be so sad if I received a B, but damn, I knew the shit too, that pisses me off.

Guilt.

From time to time, I think about the past, the idiotic things that I have done that caused grief and pain. Drugs. Must I say more? I realize, how selfish and inconsiderate I was. I just can't forgive myself. Even though it was the past, it pops up from time to time. The accident that happened to my brother, right before my eyes, and the problem was because of me. Everytime I'm with him, there's always a problem that arises, I don't know why. I feel like I'm indebted to him, I love him so much, even though we fight so many times! He is the greatest brother a girl can have. Sigh, I wish I was different before, wasn't so ignorant, it was so ridiculous. I am ashamed of the person I once was. I feel like it's all my fault and I wish I can take it all back. The guilt is forever with me. I think this is why I changed so much, matured a lot, gave up on the fun. I feel like a totally different person, someone who doesn't enjoy partying and such. But I suppose, I like it this way, this is the life I'm meant to live.

G'z

There are so many horrible drivers out there! Like seriously, can't you fucking see? On my way home from the WST, I was driving on the freeway at a rarely safe speed and this bitch cuts me off without looking! Luckily there was no cars behind me and I stepped on the brakes right away because if I didn't, I could have gotten killed! That bitch cut me when the front of my car was like up to the middle of her car. Seriously, are you a fucking idiot for not looking before cutting someone off? Just because the person in front of you was driving slow? Fuck, the person in the driver seat was also scared the fuck out. Actually, I was driving Locs car so I was worried about the car than my life. If it was my car, I woulda let that bitch hit me to learn her lesson. In addition, there were hella other cars who drive like shit! What happen to safe driving? It became to insane driving! Is it because my mother is right how no one has insurance? Or is it because of the economy that everyone has fucking lost their brains?!
Anyways, I think I did horrible on the WST, I kept dazzing off and I guess you can say, didn't take it seriously enough. I really think I did horrible, I'm so bad at english, I hate it.
Whatever, I want to take the time to speak about my mother. I love her to death, she's the best and she pride herself on knowing it, too. For example, before the test, she made a delicious breakfast, filled with scamble eggs, bacons, pancakes, potatoe wedges, and sunnyside up with orange juice on the side! My goodness, the best part was, it tasted GREAT! That's not the only reason why I love my mother, she also understands me, like how she can't take me for granted. I do things for her because I know she deserves it, but when she start treating me like a slave and disrespecting me by yelling, I would get angry. And when I get angry she is the only person who knows how to make me happy or get nice again by sucking up to me or in return treat me nicely. My mother is the best, she knows that I'm a broke mofo, so she tries to supply food now and then or extra money on the side for thigns I would need. I love her <3.
Oh, one more thing I like to add; I like how me and Tina would still talk now and then; and how we understand that when we're busy it's because of school or more important things. It's weird how we connect but I'm glad we do. But we are such bad influence on each other, especially at times like these! And how we always tell each other what to do, she would be my favorite bf if she were a boy. Still, I'm glad I've met her cause if I didn't, I think I would have missed a big part in my life, somewhere, I don't know where but I'm sure of it!
Oh, and I just remembered. I like my new laptop, although I want the netbook. But I guess I'm content for now, but my computer is retarded, sometimes I wonder how the fuck can it not understand me, it irritates me. I really think typing is a lot faster than reading to the comp. I hate how it doesn't automatically connect to the internet and I have to disconnect and connect it again, such a waste of time. But all and all, it's pretty good I guess, for the money.

Evilness

I feel so evil. It's been a while since the incident of the argument my father and I had. I don't think I will ever forgive him because he's a dumbfuck. Recently, he pissed me off again. Trying to act hard but wouldn't say shit to my face. He would say, "someone" instead of my name. He knows for a fact that I would not shut my mouth and would say what's on my mind. He's such a fucking idiot. So I burst out saying, oh hell fucking no, he better be talking about himself and he shuts his fucking mouth. Fucking pussy ass nigga, knows my mother would stop me, so he'll "try" to act hard. Like who the fuck does he think he is? He's such a fucking loser, seriously. Always be talking shit but knows I will always defeat him at everything. Also recently I would wake up to his annoying ass fucking voice cause he doesn't know how to control his fucking volume. I would want to shoot him to death or one day go in his room while he's sleeping and stab him a couple of times. This morning, I woke up with tears in my eyes, not because of him, but because of the dream I had. Again, it was related to him, of course he would be the no good father and then we had a fight. In my dream, he finally had the courage to talk back to me so we had a fist fight. In the end, I fucked him up that he ended up in the hospital, of course my mother would be disappointed this happened. Then, I knew, my family would choose him over me, I would run home crying while packing my things to become a bum. Gosh, I woke up with tears, hating him even more. Honestly, he's a piece of crap, why would people care about him, it's annoying, very irritating.

Ah.

I feel so happy everytime I look at the picture of little Lilly, she's my strength to go on. I realized that I can stare at her pictures for hours and feel energized and happy. I've been so busy with school work and trying to catch up, these past 2 weeks, Lilly came to visit and I got caught off. But luckily I'm able to catch up to where I need to be. I've never been this studious before, it feels kinda good but I like being lazy more. It's also kinda scary cause it seems like I'm growing up too fast, I feel so old.
I've been so busy that my room is so disgusting! I haven't been able to clean it up for weeks since my head is always in the books. My mom came in today and said that my little sister room was probably cleaner than mine. Impossible! Her room is disgustingly, can never be clean, dirty!
Anyways, speaking of my mother, the other day she said something that made me laugh. She said I was a druggy, she said it didn't matter what kind of drugs, it would make me happy, wild, and crazy. But she was talking about Acohol, Theraflu or Advil since I was terribly sick for the past month! But the way she said it was so funny, seem like I was really an addict. But I forgot how it was, cause my memory has been very horrible lately! Anyways, I feel fine now, a little cough here and there but at least I ain't feeling woozy and irritated.
I think that's lal for now, I feel so tired and I have to knock out since it was a long day with no gaps in between classes. And tomorrow, I gave to hit the books again and write an essay! Blah! I really can't wait for Spring break, I would probably have a couple of days to rest. Even though I have Friday to Monday off, it's not enough, considering all the hw and chapters that are given for each class. Goodbye!