Hm..

I love my family, I really do. They are loving, giving, and understanding. I can't ask for a better family, they aren't like the shady families you usually see, except my dad he's a dumbfuck. He gives to stranger but receive from his family. I find it stupid that he expect my mother to treat him the same as us, as a child. He said it's "unfair" that she makes us food and work to raise her children instead of taking care of her husband. I think that is bullshit, he is suppose to be the one taking care of her and doesn't do fucking crap every damn day. He is worst than us! At least we try to help our mom when we can, he just fucking sits on his ass and say he won't do anything. It's like wtf, who the fuck do you think you are, you don't even fucking contribute to this fucking family. He's like a fucking useless man in this fucking family, I tell my mom to divorce him all the time, but she said that we need him, bullshit! We never needed him in our life, he's just another person in our house who waste electricity, food, and anything you can think of! He doesn't even pay for rent! I guess I don't blame her, she doesn't have the heart and doesn't want her reputation to be out there but everyone knows he's a crazy stupid fuck.
Anyways, like I was talking about my siblings and mother, I know they will always have my back. Before, I was the responsible one, I worked and took care of my siblings, well more like buying food and entertainment. Karma is good, now it's them who are treating me well while I am currently unemployed, although I feel like shit using them.
Sigh, but I do feel like a slave, always doing errands for my family, unappreciated. It's like there are tons of people in this family but they choose me to do the dirty work cause they know I would do it, although I complain like a little bitch. I know I should do the errands happily because I should be grateful for such a family but sometimes you get sick of it.
My break started out partying with my friends for a few days..then I was allowed to party with my family..and now I'm stuck at home casue my family doesn't want me to go anywhere else. Now my mother wants me to sacrifice my New Year's Eve to take her to a casino, wtf. I don't know if I can do that, it pisses me off thinking about it. I told her I'll take her but not on New Years! And she's fucking bitching about me promising to take her, she knew I'd be going out that day. I hate when she does that, I know she does it on purpose too, it's so fucking dumb. She likes to fuck me over for her entertainment. Sigh, life, always ups and downs. I don't even know what to do.

Love. <3

Oh baby, I love winterbreak! Although, since it started I've been getting fucked up to the max everytime I drink. It's insane cause now my mother even let me drink! It's funny cause on Saturday I wasn't suppose to be home but since Lilly was here and it was her party I stayed back and I told my mother since I ain't driving no where I might as well drink and she agreed. Only cause she knew if she didn't let me I'll leave and drink else where. It was fun since there was so many people and by the end of the night I don't know how but I knocked out on my bed! Some shit happened that pissed me off! Someone that I won't say fucking stole my mothers phone which is fucking ridiculous and disrespectful but being the detective I am I found out who it was since I had proof and evidence. We didn't receive the phone until monday since we didn't know it was missing until Sunday night. Monday morning, since I couldn't sleep cause I was so pissed off, I went and drove all the way to their place and threaten them to give it back or hell is to pay. The phone was finally handed over and I felt like my goal was accomplished. Anyways, as a celebration I drank with my family but mostly my parents and we sang the night away. I totally got my mother drunk and she slept with me. We were having a great night drinking the wine away since we opened a new bottle, might as well finish the damn thang.
But yeh, my winterbreak started late, it started Wednesday and I wasn't planning to go out but since I was dressed up I thought I went to my friends house to visit. So it ended up my crush came and we spent the whole night playing drunken poker and after we went to eat at Lee's Noodle, I feel so bad letting him pay but I know I'll take him out one day to repay his kindness and sexiness. Thursday was Vu's/Westscape's big day, the performance and movie was incredible, I didn't think it would blow me away but it did, they were right. We ended up chilling at Vu's house and I was planning to go home after but then I received a text that the person gave me knew I would not resist! Sigh, end up I went to my other friends place to visit but I end up getting fucked up and freaking every moving thing but it was the good buzz not the throw up or dizziness one. I ended up staying till 5am, sigh I need to leave earlier! Been partying too much and staying to late. Friday was my chill day cause my mother believed I've been going out too much and I need to relax for the big day on Saturday, end up I did some errands and had a journey or adventure with Loc, it was great and I ended up knocking out till the next day which I was slaved the whole day! But it was fun, I did a lot of work but it was worth it, and now I'm here, relaxing cause I'm scared if I go out, I'll probably drink my heart out again.
I'm pretty sad though, I really miss Lilly so much, she is such a cute, little, beautiful, precious, loving baby I've met! It's like I'm so scared around her, holding her, yet I still want to squish her because she's my little niece. Everything is going so right for me, I wish it doesn't change, not even one bit and if it does, it'll be for the better..2009 here it comes!

Crush

So..I finally admit, I have a crush. Last night while I was driving home, I couldn't help but smile all the way home. And it's not those little smirks that I always do, it's a BIG grin, showing my teeth and everything. It was either I was hella freezing or that I was too excited but I'm sure it wasn't because I was cold, because I was so happy! BUT, I am going to enjoy this crush, I'm not going to rush into it like I always do. He's so sweet though! Although he's hella shy, I really enjoy his company but I think it's because he's so fucking hot. Dude, I got caught so many times, since I was fucked up last night, everyone pretty much caught me slipping. Since I didn't give a fuck, I was flirting to the max. But, I hope they didn't see it since everyone there was pretty much fucked up themselves. Ah, but thinking about him gives me a sense of relaxation and I can't wait till the next time I see him! I don't even rememeber if I gave him a hug goodbye, sigh, I was that fucked up! But I think I did, I hope I did since I do remember waiting to hug him or say bye to him because he said byes to the guys first and me last. I was in the passenger seat so I guess it made sense for him to say bye to me last, I was dissappointed but at least I got to look him in the eyes before he left, gosh, I just wanted to kiss him. Why am I such a pervert? But it was just like the movies! That moment when a person says goodbye with a hug and have a second of eye contact, maybe it's just my fantasy. But yeh, I was suppose to leave at 12, and then he ended up showing up and I got so excited! I sticked around till 330am, that I know everyone caught me on, but oh well, at least I'm feeling so happy right now! I'ma make him my New Year's date!